I get back up and I do it again

Mood: a little tired and a little nervous
Music: Why do you love me By: Garbage

So I found someone..

Yesterday was the one month anniversery of my life as a single person..and of course I freaked out and started loosing it..just like I always do..so I called Eddie..and he was helping..I think..a little..and then his phone died..and I started sobbing..pretty hard..

and I called Mike..

and when he told me he was busy I said "nevermind" ..but he didn't take that as an answer..and ..then..he was there with me..

and the weird thing is...I wanted him to be there..

Truth?
I've liked Mike for a long time..
Truth?
I feel like I really connect with him..

I don't think this is a rebound...I had my rebound...I had two of them..
I think this is..genuine

I don't know where him and I will go..I don't know how far or for how long..
But I know that no matter what happens ..I won't hurt him..

Because I will not hurt people anymore.

I just want interaction, connection, love, playfulness, emotion..

I just want life..
so if the opportunity to connect with someone who is avalible comes along...and i'm avalible to take it..i'm gonna take it..

I'm scared- I'm scared as hell..
Eddie broke me.
I feel like I fixed myself with scotch tape..

Now I have to see if it holds.. and I think the best way to do that is to move really slow..
really...really slow..

Me: " I don't know what i'm doing...but I think i'm all-in"
Him: "Then i'm all-in too"