Wednesday, November 29, 2006

What I want..

I'm just gonna drown in the deliciousness of this for a moment:

You tell me where to go
and though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

oh god.


This is not healthy..

I have tears in my eyes, because for the first time in..such a long time
I'm in love.


Oh my god. Something was just fixed in my body
I'm crying..i'm fucking crying..haha..this is awesome..

...maybe I ate too much chocolate..
It's brett.


Monday, November 27, 2006

blow it away in a bubble

Okay..The hate is gone..

I blew it away in a bubble..and now it's gone

I am a selfish person I know this now..
I dont like people touching my things
retired or otherwise

If it was mine..I dont want you putting your fucking (supposedtobelesbian) hands on it. maybe i'm still a little mad..

I'll let it time..


Saturday, November 25, 2006

Slut WHAT?


I'm definately a slut..
I am.

Not a whore..but a slut..

and you know..I can handle that..

I thought about it a lot..and

What's wrong with that?
I dont believe in God..
So i'm not going to hell for anything..

I want to do the things I do..
So...I'm not angry at myself anymore..

So i'm good with what i've done..
I dont make any promises to any boys.

I'm fuckin single..and as such that means I can
Touch. Kiss. Suck. Fuck. Any boy I choose.


I'm okay with that..

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Partying my life away

I'm in a good mood.
A very good mood.

I figured out a few things.

I'm a straight A student..
I'm good looking..
I love getting trashed.

I had an awesome night last night..and you know
I forgot about all the SHIT
and when I thought about it today..

It was ...small..

so PARTY! That is the key, my key, to not being so fucking depressed.

I knew I picked this blog for a reason..

Watch me party hard.

Saturday, November 18, 2006


What if your like that when I get down there?

Where are you? Come get me.

I am incomplete.

I am incomplete.

Just say WE WERE LOVERS..and we'll call it even..

I am the ground zero x-friend you ordered
Disguised as a hero to get past your boarders
I know when I'm wanted, i'll leave if you ask me to
Mind my own busniess and speak when i'm spoken to

I fall to the ground within hours of impact
I hit back when hit, and attack when attacked.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006 sucks


I really did it..I booked that ticket..

and it would appear as though i'm going to GA..the 29th through the 2nd..

I'm probably fucking nuts..
I know i'm fucking nuts..

Maybe i'll get closure..although I cant imagine how that would help..

I just want to see my friend..

The worst part about it? I can't tell anyone except Amanda..and as happy as she's not the same..ha...I used to count down on my fingers..

...I dont know..

My head's all cloudy...

I just..want to go back to the beginning..
even if that's impossible..

My mom is actually gonna take me..

Come on in
I've gotta tell you what a state i'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tone
That I started looking for a warning sign

The truth is..that I miss you
yeah, the truth is
that I miss you
and i'm tired..

I'm just so tired..

Monday, November 13, 2006

can you

Can I love someone even though I barely know him?

Can I love someone that I hardly ever see?

I don't know..but I can tell you this..

..It seems to be the only thing that works for me..
nothing is stronger then the way I feel when I'm imagining how good it would be
Just to see him..

So i'm pretending..
So what?

So what, if that's enough for me?

I don't care what you think.

Because it makes me happy..
and I don't want real love

...I don't want reality
..not right now..

I want my imagination
I want my fantasy's

I want to dream for a month until I finally make those dreams come true...

and maybe then..I'll let go

But not a minute before...

So let me do this,
Let me be co-dependent

Let me dream...
and don't stop me until I wake up..

"The heart dies a slow death, sheading hope like leaves on a tree, until there are none. She paints her face to hide her face..."

Sunday, November 05, 2006


I think if I hand an animal..i'd be a happier person..

I've been laughing a lot..

thinking about everything in my life..

and you know..being alive is enough for me..
I'm happy i'm alive..

Friday, November 03, 2006

what the fuck?

So..this is annoying..

I just took my online test for sociology..and couldn't answer one of the questions because there wasn't an answer space for it.. knocked my grade down to a C when if should be an A...

I'm annoyed about whoa.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I was thinking..

Shove it up your ass
I am nothing but nice to you..

and all you do is ignore me?

Shove it.