Sunday, October 30, 2011

Just live your life...

...No telling where it will take you.

Brett left for California yesterday. It feels bittersweet.

I have big dreams and big hopes for him. Probably as big as the dreams he has for himself. I think that happens when two people are as close as we are. Brett is the single most important thing I found through-out my four years of High School.

Almost ten years ago.

I still remember that first year. Thinking he was so attractive. Watching him walk. Getting butterflies when he would talk to me, or touch me. I remember the middle too. Working past 10pm every night. Wanting our piece for speech team to be better than perfect. Knowing that we had what it took. All of a sudden I knew how to walk like him. I had it too, that ability to give others butterflies.

Now we're on to this part- which I won't call the end. End of an era perhaps, but not the end. He still has the walk, but the whole package is so much more than just that. Forget butterflies, now he'll just knock you on your ass with his awesomeness. It's too big for Chicago. He's getting out, going where he's useful, going where the big boys are. To be a star. He has everything it takes to make it. All he needs now is the right person to notice.

...and here I am.

Surprisingly enough- I don't have much to complain about. I don't feel deserted. I don't feel lost or alone without him. Our friendship is too epic for that. If anything I am glad for the distance because I can focus. I need to focus on myself, on where I'm headed. I need to walk on my own. So that I have something to offer.

I want a version of the greatness that Brett is moving towards, one that is tailored to my own hopes and dreams. I never want to fear the need to do what it takes.

I feel proud and envious of him. He is forging a path in the right direction. I wonder how many of our group of friends will follow in his footsteps.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Life the live you have imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau