I wish I could find someone who understood my fetish and worked with me so that I didn't have to be alone..
..because I feel so alone..in my life..
Friday, March 16, 2007
I wish I had the guts to tell you everything i'm really thinking..
I wish I could give you an ultimatum..
I wish I had the guts to just leave you, knowing you'd come back..
But the truth?
Ultimatums are tools for people who think they have it in the bag..
...and you are anything but in my bag..
I'm too afraid to tell you that I want all or none of you..because you might leave..and if you leave
i'll fall apart..because the only thing I really want is to be able to love you..
My happiness lies in your hands..and if it were up to me..you'd let me be with you..
I wanted to tell you tonight..when you said you were lonely..
...That this is your fault. You did this to us. You and I were seconds away from being a real
team, and having what we worked so hard for, for three years. You split us up, and now we're
both alone, and missing something. So don't tell me you're lonely, because the truth of the
matter is that you're just upset you don't have someone in you're life.
I on the other hand, have to live everyday knowing that you were the one person I loved, and
you don't want me anymore.
So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every
day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every
day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now,
40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can
do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.