I have this good friend...his name is Eddie..

He left me, and there's nothing I can do about it...

My father's voice is in my head..the way he makes everything so simple, and he's telling me that if we are meant to be, Eddie and I will find each other again..

But how do two people find each other when they're eight hundred miles away?

I've never been one to have faith..but that's all I can do..

...Have faith that he wont find someone as good as me?
...Have faith that as we grow and turn and mature we'll still love each other?
...Have faith that I wont find someone as good as him?

...Faith is the hardest thing for me to have...

I can't stop imagining this other women..who I don't even know yet...underneath him...ontop of him....in love with him...

It's not something i've ever been through..and i'm scared of how much it's going to hurt..

I guess all I can really do now is be his friend..and wait...and ....wait...

There were a lot of times when I thought I wasn't in love with eddie..and frankly...there were a lot of times when I ...wasn't..inlove with him...but I always loved him..

I guess this is the beginning of a very long road...I can't really see the end of it...and I don't really know who's walking it with me...

I hope that Eddie and I end up together...that would make me ...so happy..

but I have to realize that it might not...probably won't...happen...

*closes my eyes*

Realize it.......realize......it......


....*sigh*....

Maybe sometime this week it'll happen...