A clothing eulogy of nostalgic times..

Recently I've been working hard to become focused on weight loss and a healthy diet. I am trying to change a huge aspect of my life, and one that change does not come to easily. Years of over-eating, stress eating and putting on the pounds are hard to undo in a matter of months, and I understand it's going to take time.

Last year I wanted nothing more than to drop weight for my trip to New Orleans, and it was crushing to only making 25% of my goal, but I took it, and was thankful it was better than nothing. This year is different. I will not stand for less than reaching my goal before New Orleans. I am determined to shape myself into the person I know I am on the inside in the next coming months.

Part of being ready and dedicated to change is being able to let go of the past, so in a small way (well...large way to me, but small in the midst of it all) I started to put the past behind myself yesterday by going through my wardrobe and donating clothing that is too old or not in style with my personality anymore. It was hard, I won't lie. I donated pieces of clothing that I've been holding onto for upwards of 5 years. Even those pieces you keep because you say "One day I'll fit into this again", I donated those too.

It was liberating when I put the two garbage bags full of clothing into the trunk of my car, and then dropped them off to be donated. Saying goodbye to the past and taking a step towards finding my center feels good, it feels right.So in remembrance of those articles of clothing that symbolized landmark events in my life, I have created this post to give them a proper burial, if you will.

This first outfit is one that I purchased and wore over seas in London and Scotland. I remember wearing the green pants on my first trip on the "underground" (their public transportation system, like our L) when we visited the Hard Rock Cafe. The shirt I purchased at a gift shop by the river Thames. The inside of the letting shows pictures of different places of interest in London, like the second N with the "London eye". I wore this outfit all through my first year of college and eventually become to heavy to wear the pants, which aren't really in style anymore, and the shirt picked up stains here and there, one of which was a big white paint stain from technical theater. RIP London outfit, and thanks for the good times.




The second outfit is comprised to two pieces I wouldn't normally wear together. The top is one that I wore during high school, almost a decade ago. The buttons down the front seem to go on forever, and I used to wear it on dates and during numerous plays. The skirt I borrowed from my good friend Jessica and then later negotiated keeping. I wore it during Speech and Performance competitions and later to job interviews and work at Hickory farms. Both pieces still fit me today, but the memories have actually gotten too painful to continue wearing either.

These last shirts all mark milestones in my life. My unhappy shirt goes straight back to my "goth" days before even high school. I remember wearing it around Eddie (My first boyfriend) and to family parties as well. Also as a farewell shirt every time I would leave from another trip to GA. I loved and hated this shirt at the same time. The "Fall Out Boy" shirt I bought at my first concert (I know FOB was my first concert, eeeewww) which coincidentally was the first time I realized I had feelings for Michael. I believed we all were able to go to that concert because Brett scored extra tickets and then had an emergency or something and couldn't go. I got to hold Mike's had at one point, and boy did he look HOT in his blue and white leather jacket, even if he was more interested in Kaleen that night.

The black shirt with the buttons down the side goes back to freshman year. I don't fit in it anymore, which drives me crazy. I wore that shirt during a play I helped outside of school called "Dog Brain" and then later on dates in Chicago. I never once felt unattractive in it, and letting it go was really hard because in a way it felt like admitting that I'm not anymore. Finally, the green shirt with the skyline on it that says "death cab for cutie" I wore on my 18th birthday party which I held at a hookah bar. Samantha, Mike, and Mike, Peter, Joe, Becca, Anna, Riebana and John were all there that night. It was one of the last times that group of people would ever be all together again. It's really tattered now, but will always remind me of fun times.

It feels good to let go of these items and move on towards the future. I wonder what memories my new wardrobe will bring. I wonder what items I'll pick to represent who I am. Let me give one final RIP to all my outfits. I wore them well, I wore them out, and I'm ready to say goodbye to them all.

Now, onward to better things, more stylish articles of clothing that fit me properly and show off the weight that I've lost and will continue to lose!