Thursday, January 27, 2011

I messed up my shoulder at the gym. I saw the number on the scale and freaked, then over worked myself to try to compensate, but the truth of the matter is that you don't achieve changed quickly. True change takes time and effort, almost as much if not more than the effort you put in to get where you currently are.

It's about self discipline, of which I know almost nothing. I hate that about myself. Why is it that I always take more than I should because I know there will be more? I eat until I'm full, I spend money that I don't have, I sleep more than I need ect ect.

I want to try to have more focus, be more disciplined and shoot myself like an arrow at the target of things that I want.

I wish I could be more beneficial in my relationship with Mike. I wish I made more money and had more energy. Is it a bad sign that we haven't had sex in a month? Why aren't we more intimate with each other? How much of not being intimate has to do with the fact that I hate my body? Again. Does he hate his? Mine?

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