...I'll remember to forget about you...

Mood: Pissy do to the menstrual condition.
Music: Panic, Eisley, Cash, whatever.

Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top-hats with the doorman, from that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed....If everything goes according to plan...then i'm the new cancer, never looked better.... and you can't stand it.



I almost started crying during my English AP exam. I was trying so hard, and I realized how bad I really wanted a good grade, and how little effort I had put into it..and I just...got really upset.

I was pissy today. Really bad. I felt a general loathing for just about everyone. I'm really tired of doing this show every single fucking day.

I'm so tired.

Worried about Brett. He didn't take the AP test and he hasn't called me or answered his phone. ..I'm worried.

I'm having some doubts about Georgia. Some serious doubts. I said that I wouldn't let one person change my mind, and I don't want to, but she's so...not me...and the fact that he hangs around with her worries me. I dont seem to be like..any...of his friends...and I'm starting to think that this was a bad idea. I'm also trying not to make any decisions that will push me towards changing my mind. I know there are things I could do that..wouldn't help this situation.

If I told eddie any of this right now, he'd probably think that I was looking for a reason to break up with him...but It's seriously not that. I'm nervous because i'm realizing that Eddie and I don't have the same lives, or friends.

I'm gonna miss my friends so bad. I already miss jessica, and emily. It hurts in the pit of my stomach..and for that thought alone makes me happy that I live at the theatre.

When I think about leaving Melissa I can't breathe.

I just...have been asking myself a lot...Is it worth it?

Maybe I'm just addicted to the way he makes me feel..Maybe nothing can really be this perfect.

...Maybe i'm not really meant to be happy.

I miss the way Brett smells. That was random.

I'm gonna take a shower...probably cry a bit..and them sleep..

.....oh...I know this is stupid, but I really wish someone could just take me away..Like the way a good song does when you turn it up so far that you can feel it in your chest, and nothing else in the world exsists but you...and the song...