You're a mystery yourself.

Getting back into work today. I think i'm going to go in after all the drama has commenced. I'm just finished with all that nonsense.

Nonsense in general it starting to become something that sends me in the other direction. I'm tired of people not saying what they mean or what they feel.

More over..I need to worry about myself, and my family. That's what the few precious days of time off has shown me. My fiance', my mother and my brothers are the most important people in my life right now...christmas is coming, and christmas eve is going to be at my place, something i've looked forward to for a long time. I want to be prepared. A christmas tree, maybe a wreath and some lights...good food cooking in the kitchen and candles lit all over my apartment..and presents.

I don't have a lot of money to spare this year, and what money I do have needs to go to the people who matter the most.

I've heard countless people stating reasons why I won't be getting a present from them this year. I want them to know, it's fine by me, and I hope they understand that it goes both ways.

I'm thinking about myself, and I'm thinking about my family, and that's the most imporant thing right now, for my happiness my sanity and my dignity.