..

okay..so i'm one day into this..
I'm fucking insane..

When this is all over I am going to cry..so very hard..
I wasn't quite sure what would happen..but I am being used...deliciously used..
and it's by the one person I thought I would hate forever..
..and I can't help it...

He has my heart..he has my heart..
How is this supposed to end?
When I go back to the airport will I be handed my heart back and given a pat on the back and a "thanks for the sex al"

..I dont wan't to talk about this because the more I do the more I am certain it is a grave mistake that I am making, and the more I realize how big of a mistake this is..the more I want to stop doing it.. but I can't..

I've worked so hard to get here..and now...if feels like I haven't gone..anywere

He started it...I wasn't gonna make a move..he made it first...these five words keep repeating over and over again in my head .....dont give him your heart....

..I miss my Eddie.. and with all the shit going on in my fucking life..the thought of just maybe...having someone there..no one wants to be alone..but me especially..me especially right now.. I dont want to be alone! ...I dont want this heartbreak

I dont want this heartbreak....