You're a mystery yourself.

I woke up to the phone buzzing, and I wasn't really sure where I was this morning. I knew I was cold, and that my throat was in pain...I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a couple minutes, trying to acclimate to ...my life, I guess? After a couple of minutes I was able to get my body up and into the bathroom.

That's when the pain started, in my calves and arms. My wrist in particular. I shouldn't have climbed so high in the storage unit yesterday, shouldn't have thrown that box thinking it wouldn't come back down on me. Shouldnt have tried to take care of everything by myself...

I wrapped myself in every scarf I could find, and put my coat and boots on to move my car.

Don't worry, no ticket on my car..no flat tire or anything..just me in the cold by the lake this morning. Even with the cold wind stinging my face the lake still looks beautiful. I still can't take my eyes away, even after 7 months.

I was remembering the first day..when we walked along the lake path down by lake shore drive...how the water was a sky blue instead of the ice gray it was this morning, how you could smell it's sweet scent in the air, and feel the weight of it. How we debated the pros and cons of the apartment, and what it would be like to live in a place next to such a force.

Things are colder now, the lake seemed oddly quiet today..and as I walked back into the apartment I couldn't help but think about how I didn't know it was going to be this hard.


We prevail...and just because a job might end or a bills might pile up does not mean we can't push through. You've shown me that numerous times...so I believe we can prevail when it comes to us..to our relationship. I love talking to you...your fast paced descriptions of life and all its contents. I love how articulate you are...you're like my own Robert downy jr. I love that you've learned to match me in fights. You don't curl into that shell anymore, you dominate with opinion and sincerity.

I wish you would show the same force in other relationships, because you shouldn't take shit from anyone.

I want to show you everything in London..I want to show you the tower, and walk the bridge with you. We can take a day and go see Shakespeare's house if you wanted too, there is so much...and I really want it to happen..maybe we could aim for June?

Northlake weighs you down..those shitty suburbs where everything seems so breakable and expensive. I wish I could stay in the boarders of the city more often, I wish I could appreciate my apartment and burn incence and cook today..

..but there are responsibilties waiting for me...and it's almost time to wake you up.