Morning:
I dont remember the last time I was this depressed...it's engulfed me. ...probably not good to wallow in this emotion for too long.. ....but it's raining.. ...I don't want to be here. I miss you eddie.
*starts crying* it's funny...when I type eddie I have a very clear picture of him..and everything that encompasses him...
I wonder how long i'll feel like this.
Night:
This afternoon everything smelt like the bakery down the street..I can't get the smell of cookies out of my nose.
I had an overall good day I..guess...
I was bored most of it, but I got a whole 2 seconds in the flexed arm hang..and I ate at lunch..and I read more of my book..and I got to see Mike, and Melissa..and Brett..even though were doing that "i'm not gonna look at you until you look at me" thing..I fell asleep in study hall..I had a mark on my face when I woke up...
underneath all of it...I'm sad
I woke up this morning, and I sat up in my bed for like 10 mins with an ache in my chest that wouldn't go away..there was not thought in my head..except for "how the hell am I gonna do this?"
...how the hell am I gonna do this?
,,,very slowly.
